17 Years Ago Today

17 years ago today I walked into UAB to have outpatient surgery. Little did I know that Wed morning that I would not be having surgery and I would have a 4 day hospital stay and when I would leave the hospital my life would never be the same. Below is a transcript I wrote for a friend who is running a 10k in San Diego in my honor for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Some of you have asked me to read it so I thought I would let this be my post for today since it is my 17 year anniversary.

My name is Amanda Baker Flynn and I am a CANCER SURVIVOR! My journey actually started when I was 8 yrs old. My mother Jeanette Baker died from Hodgkin's Disease she was only 34 years old. As I sat in a doctors office 17 yrs ago this coming May I just kept telling myself this is not going to happen to me I am to young, I am healthy so I thought, I have a great life, I just turned 21 and I had my whole life in front of me. I had everything planned out to what career I wanted who I would spend my life with and how many children we would have. THEN I heard those words YOU HAVE CANCER not only did I hear I have cancer, but I had Hodgkin's Disease. All I could think about was that is what my mom died from Hodgkin's. I will never forget to this day those words coming out of the surgeons mouth. I went numb, I sat and cried, said words I should not have said I went through every emotion I had in my body. I ask God what had I done to deserve this. I was not a bad person, I went to church, I worked and did what I was suppose to so WHY ME???

I was sitting in a cold hospital room going through the biggest battle of my life and fearing I would die. My family tried to shield me from information on how bad it was. I endured a long surgery only to be sewn up and my family told "it did not look good". I was finally diagnosed with Stage III Hodgkin's Lymphoma and was give less than a 50% chance of survival. When you are hit with something like this you have too options sink or swim, and I chose to swim. Granted I had my moments of pity in a major way, but I picked myself up and I was determined I would beat this. I had surgery on a Thur and on Fri I received 3 pints of blood before I could start chemo. I was terrified of chemo scared to death of what was fixing to happen to me and my body. All I could remember was my mother being very sick every time she had treatments. All I could do was sit and pray. I prayed every hour of the day please God let me live I don't want to die and I don't want to be sick.

I had been raised in church and for the most part had never really had a big absence from church. But when I was diagnosed , I had a hard time trying to figure out WHY ME, why would God allow this to happen to me. I mean does God not know who I am HELLO GOD I am AMANDA this does not happen to Amanda don't you know that. Then and one day I was sitting there questioning WHY ME and I had someone ask me WHY NOT YOU. Wow that was a kick in the gut a hard kick for a poor cancer patient to hear. I could think of a thousand reasons NOT ME, but God had a plan for me and my life. After I was given such a grim chance of living, the power of prayer and God healed me. In only three months of chemo the cancer was gone. Some may say I was to mean to die (ha ha) I say God needed me here on earth more than in Heaven at this time.

I have been able to share my story and faith with others who are going through this battle in hopes to give encouragement and to let them know don't give up keep your faith. It is ok to question God you may never know the "WHY" but when you are faced with a situation and you say "WHY ME" just ask yourself "WHY NOT ME". I have learned so much from having cancer, I can't say that I would not change what happened, but I can say that my faith is stronger and I am a more compassionate person after going through cancer. Whether you are facing a medical crisis or something personal, pray and pray hard don't' let your praying knees get weak.

I know just like in my battle with cancer I have to fight the battle of weigh loss. I know I can do it it is just a matter of believing I can do it. Thank you to everyone who is following me and for the encouraging words.